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Friday, March 31, 2006

Trend: Don't Panic! Don't Panic! - Bird Flu and the new clam face of Panicing



So during a casual lunch with clients earlier this week a couple of them and one AD turn from discussing inclement weather to "So, where did you get your tamiflu from? Europe or Canida?... I got mine for $600, good deal eh?" and "And do you have 40 days water / food / theraputic dose tylenol etc for your family?"

It turns out that quite casually with genuinely no panic lots of people are gearing up big time to do the following things the very second their blackberry report the first human-to-human bird flu infection is reported:


1) Calmly, but immediately leave the meeting you are in, calling your travel agent / organizer for an immediate flight home if needed - this is a must, as obviously all the borders are closing soon.

2 a) Get your family to do the same ie. get them home immediately
OR
2 b) Get your family to rendevous at you country bunker/cabin/falloutshelter etc (this for the more organised, diesel generator and fenced compound folks).

3) Lock yourselves in

4) Break open the stocks of water (dehydrate and you're dead with flu apparently), tamiflu, food etc.

5) Break out the guns (to shoot the mob on your front lawn before they can get in at your supplies.)

6) Wait at least 40 days for the incubation period to settle... listen to the news, don't let anyone close, and whatever you do stay away from hospitals at all cost.



Ok I exagerate a bit, but not much, and asking around since these guys are not alone.

Looney? Maybe (but then they'll be the ones shooting me on their lawn when/if it happens right!)

But the most interesting thing - extreme precautions and measures taken totally calmly - no sense of outward panic or fear in their discussion, just calm concidered plans.



So is "Calm-but-zealous-panic" the new face of over-reaction in middle-class circles? I don't remember hearing quite so many people doing stuff like this before, not doing so much, so calmly and basically with resignation.

Anyway I'm off to stock up on shed loads of vodka, chuppa-chups, and pies for my 40-day supplies (the vodka obviously being my bet for killing any pathogens in the vacinity)

Selected Links to scare yourself with:

http://virus.stanford.edu/uda/
http://www.flutrackers.com/forum/
http://www.feartheflu.com/
http://www.fluarmour.com
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4949542&sourceCode=gaw
http://www.tamiflu.com/

8 comments:

AKI SYSTEMS 2600 said...

i feel u on the RED SCARE we're amidst.

Media and Pop Culture have gotten very doom+gloom recently.

Top shows include Law_+Order(s) and CSI(s) and every 2-bit derivitive analysing the minute details of gruesome criminality. TIME last week headlined for us to "BE WORRIED, BE VARY WORRIED" about global warming, while CNN a few weeks ago broadcast a docu entitled "YOU'VE BEEN WARNED" which was old-school Nostrodomus prediction-style analysis which warns that another major storm will strike, AND the terrorists will strike during it by crashing a plane into the Mid East Oil fields, and America will spiral into facotry shutdowns, $10 gallon gas, slowed productivity and other calamities. The summer's biggest horror blockbuster looks to be "SNAKES ON A PLANE" which capitalizes on the one-two punch of our airline hijacking fears and the classic fear of snakes. THE HILLS HAVE EYES, FIREWALL, THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW. 24 details Jack Bauer's attempts to control the near brink of disaster we are perpetually amidst daily as we go about our simple and clueless lives.

Now is about a good time to have a Senator McCarthy to come stir the pot against Terror Sympathizers.

Lachlan said...

I simply CANNOT wait for sankes on a plane... every now and again I forget about it, then am reminded and regain my joyful anticipation of the future! ;o)

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